Choosing a Celebrant

This is my fifth year of being a marriage celebrant, and I’m blessed to have been the person to help nearly forty couples celebrate being in love. It is such a privilege to bear witnesses to some of the most precious moments in these people’s lives, and it’s a role I take very seriously.

I’ll tell you, though, I have found that being a celebrant is so much more than just standing in front of a group of strangers and asking two people to ‘repeat after me’. I find myself acting as a guide and sounding board for all sorts of things regarding weddings, from bridal parties to vows, and I feel that every new weddings brings a new perspective on what love is and how it should be celebrated.

So I’m hoping to use this blog in two ways. One is to record some of the things I’ve learnt about planning a ceremony, kind of like a journal of ideas to help keep track of all those little tid bits of information. Which brings me to the second reason; I hope this record may serve as a resource for people planning their own weddings.

I’m going to start with something that I feel pretty passionate about – choosing the right celebrant.
It’s an interesting role, the celebrant. Their reason for being at a wedding is a legal one, but their presence potentially sets the tone for the ceremony. This being the case, having the right celebrant for the right couple can be pretty important. However, the ‘right’ celebrant depends on a number of factors.

Cost

I’ve put this first because the budget is no doubt at the front of many couple’s concerns when thinking about their wedding. And sometimes, choosing a celebrant is based solely on this. Independent celebrants can pretty much charge what they like which means there is a huge price range, especially in larger cities. Some ask the couple to make a donation, either to the celebrant or a chosen charity, while some charge a flat rate upwards of $800. It’s uncommon for celebrants to charge an hourly rate, but not unheard of. Many celebrants just seek to cover costs and may be able to negotiate their fee depending on a few different factors like travel or nature of the ceremony.

Values

Like the couples I’ve met (and the many, many people who share their opinion of marriage with me since becoming a celebrant), celebrants themselves will have a different take on why marriage is important. It can be helpful to check what their values are and see if they match yours because, the chances are, the values of the celebrant will be in the ceremony they write unless you specifically tell them otherwise. If your values match, though, your wedding is more likely to feel like the perfect fit; your celebrant will be saying things you personally believe, and it will be said naturally and with conviction. Whether you reasons for getting married (other than being deeply in love and wanting to spend the rest of your lives together) are religious, practical, or a full-on celebration of romance, there will be a celebrant out there who feels exactly the same way about marriage and weddings as you do.

On that note, great celebrants will believe in all that and more, and choose to work with the values shared with them by the couples they work with.

Involvement

Different celebrants need different levels of involvement from couples – sometimes this has to do with experience, sometimes it’s more to do with how they choose to write their ceremonies, sometimes it’s just the nature of the wedding. Oh, the variables!
This factor may have an impact on who you choose to run the ceremony; maybe you like to be in control, like me, and you want to have heaps of input in your ceremony. Maybe you don’t have time and you want someone to just write the darn thing and turn up on the day! Problems arise when celebrants need a lot of input and the couple is MIA or vice versa – it may pay to check that your celebrant’s expectations are the same as yours.

Personality

And sometimes, you just might not like them. Your celebrant is facilitating one of the most monumental moments of your life, so it pays to make sure you get a good vibe and you actually like them as a person. Think about their sense of humour, their professionalism, and their potential to offend some of your more sensitive guests. Take a moment to wonder how they will be received by your family; will your guests appreciate the tone your celebrant sets? Personality may not be a deal breaker, but it sure would be lovely to tackle this ceremony with someone you actually like.

Take away

I am a firm believer in shopping around, especially if you live somewhere where there is the luxury to do so. Arrange to meet them and go from there.

And ask questions. Ask about everything, about licences and name changing and how they feel about children being at the wedding and their best cake design they’ve seen. Ask about price (And what it covers, if you like), and what they expect you to do, and what their values are regarding marriage. Whether your goal is to keep budgets low or have make all your guests cry or to laugh so hard you split your dress seams, there will be a celebrant that can make it happen.